Trying Times

Whew! what a week!
This week has been really tough emotionally and down right stressful.
I hope to post a blog later on alcohol abuse. But basically, I’ve had a lot of cleaning up to do since my drunken Saturday fiasco. According to a few of my dearest friends, I said and did a few hurtful things and I don’t have any re-collection of exactly what I said or did. So, in little words, they’ve made it clear that they are disappointed and not speaking to me. I was really saddened and scared and it really killed my motivation early on this week. For the most part, I’ve forgiven myself and I realize that I need to make changes and honor my friends by not having another experience like that again…EVER. I realize that they are too upset with me still to speak to me. I feel that if they are true friends, they will eventual come and talk about it with me and realize that I was not myself and will help me to learn and heal. And if they never speak to me again, then I am also prepared for that. I just need to re-establish my commitment to myself and cherish those many other friendships that I do have.

Aside from that, karma decided to fine me for my awful behavior by killing off my personal computer. So, now I’ve got to get creative and come up with ways to generate the $1300 for a new one. So, I’ll try and update my blog as often as I can when I can.

In good news, I have gotten up early the past several days and have worked out. I’m able to run up more hills and do more of everything now. I still don’t feel like I’ve lost anything though and I’m about to complete week 5. Maybe it’s my stress this week? I dunno. But, I will keep going.

Have a nice Memorial Weekend everyone!

~ by v8tx on May 22, 2009.